Change

So much has changed, as expected with a new baby. It is fantastic, amazing, beautiful and eye opening. But as with anything - to each positive there is a negative. A ying and a yang. The positive is this amazing little person. The love I feel. The eye opening experience of how wonderful the simple things are. The opportunity to  learn again. It is something to be truly appreciated - but often only can be by those who have experienced it - like many things. I know - I've been on the other side.

The negative ( or yang) is how those who don't share this wonderful experience ( or at least understand it) don't get it at all. It is the worst when theses people have been close and important in your life for so long and then they almost just ; can't be bothered' because that isn't what is going on in their life right now. Things have changed...they now do not share the same values, priorities, hobbies and maybe interests. Again, this is to be expected to some degree  but, I think it is really important that they don't forget that you are still you. You still need them in your life and to be made to feel like you are valued in their life and even though they may not understand the intense love you have for this little person and the insane motherly instinct that now burns inside you - they really need to just try to open up their heart and try. What once may have been a selfish life is no longer. The same things indeed just do not matter. No, we are not lost - we have just developed and grown due to this change. Brand name clothes get exchanged for brand named diapers :P  One hour mornings of getting yourself looking beautiful to go out for the day is exchanged for one hour of running around like a chicken with your head cut off in attempt to scarf down food, throw on clothes, go the bathroom and make bottles before the baby wakes up. Most days I'm lucky if I can get all of that done in one shot!

My point is... it is a little dis-heartening that some people I have been so close to for so long do not welcome me into their life like before since having a baby because it isn`t `convenient`` for them.  Having a baby is really hard - being a mother is very challenging... and it makes it worse when those don`t realize and appreciate that and welcome you into their lives with open arms still.  This is a time when a new mom needs those people whom she loves to step up and say ``let`s get together for lunch`, how would you like to go shopping on Saturday, Why dont you come over (knowing I`ll have the baby), Would you like me to watch your little guy for a couple hours while you get some stuff done?" - Instead of  "You are welcome to come over on Saturday if you have a baby sitter." "Ew, baby diapers are disgusting and I'd freak if it puked on me" "Ya, you are welcome to come over but we can't do overnight because of the baby crying."  Again - I understand they haven't been there - but it is completely insensitive and hurtful...and well - plain selfish. Try to stand in the other person's shoes. Yes, the baby crying through the night SUCKS - but, how do you think I feel getting up every 3 hours to feed him and change his shitty diaper? I haven't gotten a solid nights sleep in a long time. At least you don't have to get up and do it.  No, it isn't overly fantastic watching a movie with a baby crying part-way through it and having to pause the movie 4-5 times but, Oh well...that is what pause is for. ... Just accept and love me for who I am now as I will do the same for you.

I just have to say - I am sooo thankful to have those who are truly supportive of me and have an open mind and open heart. It opens my eyes to those who are really there for you through everything in your life because many say they are but when it gets tough (or changes) they bail. True friends though open their heart, mind and home to eachother no matter the changes in life - for change is inevitable. They grow together, not apart.

Remember - even the simplest of kind gestures will be greatly appreciated and not forgotten :) It isn't always the one big thing you do for someone that matters the most, it is the many small things you do.
Peace is knowing that no matter how many times you fall down, there is always that caring hand to help you back up.